Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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