They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we're making bets on your personal life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
