I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
