Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
