yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
