somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
