I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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