somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
