You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
