If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i barfeds in our rink
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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