is your mom at the bar?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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