i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
