I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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