I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
