sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
