saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize