what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
