Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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