Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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