awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
