I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
