I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
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the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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