And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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