i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
