i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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