Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
