Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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