No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
