absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
