I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
