he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
