So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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