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I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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