well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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