I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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