are you still at the devil's house?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
