You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
