He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
