I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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