Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
