you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have feelings that need drinking.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize