do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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