just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
