So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
