just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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