i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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