btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize