im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
