my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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