Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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