Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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