so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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