I must be too annoying 4 u.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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