Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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