It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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