just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
