New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
