I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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