I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize