is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
