He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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