Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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