last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
