I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
