Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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