Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
